Day 19 – 10/04/2020
I worked on myself again today. I am advancing my watercolour skills, and putting the Skillshare classes into practice. I am painting a space whale. Today has been a Good Friday indeed. My first attempt at the whale did not go so well. Oh whale. I am not getting despondent, but instead practicing my blooms, blends, and bleeds to ensure the next whale is better. As I write this, I am waiting for the first layer of paint to dry, and I am feeling hopeful that this will be a good painting. It is in these times I realise how important art is to me, and how creating really helps to boost my mood. Signing up to Skillshare was a good idea, and I am glad I have some small goals to push me to create. Today I also got to catch up with my long-time bestie, Morven. I send long typed out messages, and she sends back voiceclips. I like it. It’s odd, but it works. Morven works for the NHS. I worry about her. She has never been one to step back from an issue, and I am proud of her for continuing to work amid the panic. Last night, I clapped extra hard for her. Morven has always been really great at seeing me, even though we do not actually see each other all that often. I am always really grateful for our chats, and the grounding energy they give me. Today I was also part of a group video chat with my grandparents, and family. I hate calls like this (I hate all phonecall type things), they give me anxiety in unfairly large amounts… but it is important for us to keep in touch. My grandparents are scared, and bored. The conversations are amusing. They flit between us having to re-explain the news to my Grandad and clarify what is happening in the world at the moment (he has Parkinsons), to assuring my Grandma that I am not miserable it is just my face, to the video cutting in and out as they both press buttons on their iPads that they are not supposed to, or we just all end up playing with the filters and my Grandma finds it endlessly entertaining to see our faces transformed into dragons, pirates, and bunnies. I think I end up mostly just laughing. Ridiculousness is cathartic. I wish I could visit them, just pop up for a quick cuppa. I miss them. Facetime is not the same as real time.